My support group and I read The Bean Trees for our independent novel. I wrote these diary entries as if I was a character, Esperanza, who wasn't mention that much in the book. I did my best to describe her feelings.
July 1, 1987
Dear Diary,
My emotions are all over the place. This little girl, Turtle, is just like Ismene. I miss her with all of my heart. That day, when those horrible people took her away, I felt as if the world had ended, and I felt no need to stay here, even if that means leaving Estevan.
We went to a lake today. We had a fantastic time, but I am feeling a little suspicious of this young lady that calls herself Taylor. First, she had this toddler that looks nothing like her, but more like myself and Estevan, due to the skin color. Then, she goes off acting like she is in love with Estevan. Who does she thinks she is, me? To make matters worse, he seems to like her back.
On top of all this, we are here, in America, illegally. I really appreciate everything Mattie has done for us, and all the effort she has put into keeping us safe, and I know that we can’t go back, but I want to desperately. I’m tired of feeling insecure and out of place, and I don’t know what everyone is saying half the time. What if they catch us? What would happen? So many questions.
July 21, 1987
Dear Diary,
Today may have been one of the most unbearable days I have lived. After that exhausting road trip to Oklahoma, and everything that has happened, I am relieved that it’s all over. We visited a man named Mr.Armistead today. He seemed very nice, but it could have just been an act to make us trust him.
We went to this law office to try and help Taylor become a legal guardian of Turtle. We acted like people from the Cherokee Nation that didn’t have legal documents for Turtle, and they surprisingly believed us. It was a relief, but I couldn’t stand being in front of those people. They were asking us questions, and more questions, and then some more. I was just so emotional, I couldn’t take it.
My name was Hope, instead of Esperanza, so they weren’t suspicious about us. We, Estevan and I, dressing in work clothes, so it seemed as if Turtle would be better off with Taylor. I don’t know who she would be better off with, to tell you the truth. I want her to be better off with us. Her and I get along so well, it kills me to know that she is going to leave with Taylor once we arrive at our new home that will keep us safe.
On the way to Oklahoma, Turtle and I bonded. We would play hand games and she would tell me stories that I did not understand, since all she seems to talk about are vegetables. Then at the lake, Taylor and Estevan went out onto the lake on a row boat, and Turtle and I stayed back. We played and played and definitely would have seemed like mother and daughter to a stranger walking by. I have a feeling that Taylor has noticed that we seem like mother and daughter, and I think she is a little uncomfortable about that.
I feel very protective over her. In the Mr.Armistead’s office, I was holding her so tightly, as if I thought something horrible would happen. Then, I couldn’t control myself any more. I just can’t imagine life without her, but I have to let her go, I just have to.
July 24, 1987
Dear Diary,
The new house we are staying at is very nice and spacious, but I really miss Mattie. I never realized how much I take for granted, like Estevan, or even being here instead of Guatemala. I miss Arizona, and all of my friends that are there. I even miss Taylor. I don’t see why I hated her so much before. Sure she had a little crush on Estevan, but can I blame her? And now I realize that he would never betray me, no matter what, just look at all he’s done for me so far.
The person I miss the most is Turtle. When her and Taylor left about a week ago, I thought that it would only take a few days to get over the fact that I will never see Turtle’s exquisite face ever again. I am crying now, just thinking about her. I hated to see her leave with Taylor, but the more I thought about it, the more I think she is better off with Taylor, who isn’t as much of a young, inexperienced girl as I thought she was. She was nice to us, and I couldn’t thank her enough for getting us this far into our journey, us being Estevan and I.
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