Esperanza's Diary

My support group and I read The Bean Trees for our independent novel. I wrote these diary entries as if I was a character, Esperanza, who wasn't mention that much in the book. I did my best to describe her feelings.

July 1, 1987



Dear Diary,


My emotions are all over the place. This little girl, Turtle, is just like Ismene. I miss her with all of my heart. That day, when those horrible people took her away, I felt as if the world had ended, and I felt no need to stay here, even if that means leaving Estevan.


We went to a lake today. We had a fantastic time, but I am feeling a little suspicious of this young lady that calls herself Taylor. First, she had this toddler that looks nothing like her, but more like myself and Estevan, due to the skin color. Then, she goes off acting like she is in love with Estevan. Who does she thinks she is, me? To make matters worse, he seems to like her back.

On top of all this, we are here, in America, illegally. I really appreciate everything Mattie has done for us, and all the effort she has put into keeping us safe, and I know that we can’t go back, but I want to desperately. I’m tired of feeling insecure and out of place, and I don’t know what everyone is saying half the time. What if they catch us? What would happen? So many questions.



July 21, 1987


Dear Diary,


Today may have been one of the most unbearable days I have lived. After that exhausting road trip to Oklahoma, and everything that has happened, I am relieved that it’s all over. We visited a man named Mr.Armistead today. He seemed very nice, but it could have just been an act to make us trust him.


We went to this law office to try and help Taylor become a legal guardian of Turtle. We acted like people from the Cherokee Nation that didn’t have legal documents for Turtle, and they surprisingly believed us. It was a relief, but I couldn’t stand being in front of those people. They were asking us questions, and more questions, and then some more. I was just so emotional, I couldn’t take it.


My name was Hope, instead of Esperanza, so they weren’t suspicious about us. We, Estevan and I, dressing in work clothes, so it seemed as if Turtle would be better off with Taylor. I don’t know who she would be better off with, to tell you the truth. I want her to be better off with us. Her and I get along so well, it kills me to know that she is going to leave with Taylor once we arrive at our new home that will keep us safe.


On the way to Oklahoma, Turtle and I bonded. We would play hand games and she would tell me stories that I did not understand, since all she seems to talk about are vegetables. Then at the lake, Taylor and Estevan went out onto the lake on a row boat, and Turtle and I stayed back. We played and played and definitely would have seemed like mother and daughter to a stranger walking by. I have a feeling that Taylor has noticed that we seem like mother and daughter, and I think she is a little uncomfortable about that.


I feel very protective over her. In the Mr.Armistead’s office, I was holding her so tightly, as if I thought something horrible would happen. Then, I couldn’t control myself any more. I just can’t imagine life without her, but I have to let her go, I just have to.




July 24, 1987


Dear Diary,


The new house we are staying at is very nice and spacious, but I really miss Mattie. I never realized how much I take for granted, like Estevan, or even being here instead of Guatemala. I miss Arizona, and all of my friends that are there. I even miss Taylor. I don’t see why I hated her so much before. Sure she had a little crush on Estevan, but can I blame her? And now I realize that he would never betray me, no matter what, just look at all he’s done for me so far.

The person I miss the most is Turtle. When her and Taylor left about a week ago, I thought that it would only take a few days to get over the fact that I will never see Turtle’s exquisite face ever again. I am crying now, just thinking about her. I hated to see her leave with Taylor, but the more I thought about it, the more I think she is better off with Taylor, who isn’t as much of a young, inexperienced girl as I thought she was. She was nice to us, and I couldn’t thank her enough for getting us this far into our journey, us being Estevan and I.

Fantasy World of Childhood

You’re sitting on your beaten up couch with your clothes soaked, as you use your imagination to think of what your mother might have in store for you this time. Will you not be able to goof off with your buddies, or no more sweets for the rest of the week? Scoldings are nothing new, been there, done that. But maybe this is her last strand, maybe you have gone too far. In The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, written by Mark Twain, Tom is a boy that gets away with everything. He lives in a fantasy world where children are allowed to do almost anything and everything they please, without serious consequence.

Mark Twain wrote this book after Civil War, so everyone wanted romance, so it would lift their spirits when it seemed like nothing was going right. They would read these types of books, and imagine themselves in this exquisite world, where even in a time in need; you have fun without getting into major trouble. Tom Sawyer could skip school, runaway, and even witness a murder, and still be just an innocent small boy. Tom skips school one day to go swimming. He comes home, and his aunt suspects something is up. She questions him, and he does such a good job of lying to her, and convinces her that he was in school the whole day. I'm not sure how, but Aunt Polly believes him. Not until his brother, Sid, comes in, he is having a great time, knowing that he had yet again avoided punishment. Sid tells on Tom, but Tom has already left to go meet up with his friends.

Tom is a boy that lives in a small town, in a small house, with a small family. His family doesn’t have much money, and he doesn’t have many nice clothes, or much food. Still, he makes the best of things and has such a great time doing it. He has an adventurous mind that is always looking for something new to do. Although Tom has so many fantastic times, he does experience some horrific or sad. When Tom and Huck were hunting for treasure in the haunted house, they come to realize that Injun Joe, one of the scariest people in the area they live in, is trying to hide his treasure there. They sneak upstairs, hoping not to be seen. They sit and sit, waiting for these horrible people to leave, so they too, could leave. Injun Joe’s partner, some they call Spaniard, notices their tools lying on the ground. He tells Injun Joe, who thinks to go check upstairs, to make sure that the tools owners weren’t spying on them. Half way up the stairs, he decides to leave the people, saying that they can tell everyone about their plans; they would be long gone by then. In the real world, this probably wouldn’t happen; Tom and Huck would have gotten caught, and may have been goners. This scene just shows what kind of world Mark Twain was picturing while writing this.

Innocence: a word that describes Tom Sawyer. The theme in this book is innocence to innocence. Tom does learn from all of his mistakes, which would make him be more experienced, but he does nothing with what learns. Tom learns that when you run away, you are missed dearly, and it hurts everyone that cares for you. He learned this after coming back from his pirate adventure, but when he and Becky ran off in the cave, he didn’t once think about his aunt or siblings, and how much they would miss him. In our world, sometimes we forget things, and we usually don’t get away with it too easily. Tom forgets nearly everything, but still gets by smoothly.

Sitting in your room, not too thrilled to be there, think about how miserable this weekend will be. This world is harsh and full of predicaments, very much unlike Tom Sawyer’s world. He can go off on pirating adventures or skip school to go swimming, but every single kid and a lot of adults admire him. That is why, in this small town in Missouri, everything is unrealistic, and seems to be the perfect world.

Tom Sawyer Response

Tom Sawyer, a young, adventurous boy that lives in the 1800’s. He enjoys playing tricks on his ageing aunt and skipping school to go pirating with a few friends. He loathes his brother, Sid, who always seems to catch him, and get him into to trouble. Scoldings aren’t anything new to Tom, but somehow, he always makes the best of them. That just shows how innocent this growing boy really is. He may be bad, he may have mischievous thoughts, but everyone seems to look past that in the end, which makes us realize how much of a fantasy world Mark Twain has placed this story in.

When Tom and Joe go off with Huckleberry to become pirates, they didn’t realize what they were putting other people through. They went off for at least a week, and then realized that everyone had missed them. But did they go back? No, not for awhile anyway. They stayed because Tom had a idea, which they thought would be funny. So they stayed and played more of their pirate games, thinking that everything would work out. In the real world, no one would think it was funny, and no one would forgive them, but in the world that Mark Twain has created, it is completely possible.

The funeral was during church on a Sunday. Aunt Polly, Tom’s aunt, was depressed and her eyes were already swollen. The priest had already started the ceremony, when Tom, Joe, and Huck walked in, making everyone have a double take. You would expect that everyone would be shocked, and disappointed in these boys. People would have thoughts running through their head, such as, “How could these foolish boys possibly stay away when they know that they are missed? How could they possibly but these poor people into this type of misery?” But in this case, no such thoughts were going through their head. They were all filled with joy. Why though? Because this world is a fantasy, in which things happen that wouldn’t in our world.

Tom Sawyer, a boy who lives in a world where everything goes his way. He can sneak out of the house, run away with someone everyone else hates, get whipped infront of the whole class, and everyone still loves him. He is an all-American boy, who hasn't yet realized what conciquences are like, and how much of an impact they have when you are a grown-up. All in all, when reading this book, you but yourself in a world that you would love to live in, but you also know that this would never happen, because our world is harsh.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn Final Essay

Looking through your family photos, you see your mom looking so young and cheerful next to your dad, who’s holding you as a baby. You look so healthy and happy then, so inexperienced and gullible. You see yourself grow up, getting closer to being an adult, but still having so much more to learn. What if that wasn’t how you had grown up? What if these amazing people never knew you and never were there to support you? Life is a long, confusing and rough journey, filled with happiness and pain. You learn from your mistakes, and do your best whenever possible. As a kid you are inexperienced and get away with things just because you are so innocent, and when you are an adult you are wiser, and can’t just slip by things any more.


This book had a theme, and that was going from innocence to experience. In the beginning of the book, Francie was eleven years and was living in the harsh streets of Brooklyn, New York. She was very shy and unimpeacable, and didn’t really fit in due to the way she acted. Most of the other kids were loud and obnoxious while Francie was quiet and smart about her actions. She was a little smarter and wiser than the other kids, but she still had a long way to go before she was a grown adult with a lot of experience. As the years went by, Francie learned things from her family, such as how to cook or take care of kids from her mother. Betty Smith wrote this book to show this girls journey from innocence to experience, to show that it isn’t easy to get through it, but when you have a supportive family it’s a little easier.

Everyone goes through hard times, some more than others. Francie goes through plenty, but learns how to deal with it. Johnny, Francie’s dad, dies in the middle of the book. Her family still manages to get by, at times very imperceptibly, and at other times very smoothly. All of Johnny’s brothers, and himself died before the age of thirty-five, and grew, “handsomer, weaker and beguiling with each generation.” Francie also has to survive a time in her life when there is little food and even littler amount of money. In the twenty-first century, many people are unemployed and don’t live like the rich and famous, just like how the Nolan’s are living during Francie’s childhood. In the end, everything turns out fine, you either get a good paying job or learn to live with what you have.

As you close the heavy, dusty photo album, you think about the good and bad times of your childhood. Getting stickers on your essay and going home to show mom and dad, or getting your picture in the newspaper. Or the times when you were unable to go and play tag or soccer with your friends due to your inappropriate actions, and sitting in the corner full of regret. Growing up can be fun, growing up can be tough, and everyday you learn something new. By the time you are grown up and working, you have learned not to talk back to your parents or pick a fight with the biggest kid on the block, all from past experience. Going from a child, who is as innocent as can be, to an adult knows what to do and when to do it, is a rough journey, and in this novel, Betty Smith shows a young girl becoming a woman and starting to make her own decisions instead of having others do it for her.

Imagination

Imagination

Sub-theme: Imagination

Me, with a sparkling tiara on my head, sitting on a red velvet thrown, as all of the land gathers around, gasping at the sight of me. Everyone has an imagination, some more realistic than others, but everyone has one. As you get older, your imagination fades, and you realize that life isn't how you want it to be, whether you like it or not.

Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are all imaginary characters that kids adore. Some parents feel bad lying like this to their kids, but these figures stretch childrens minds. Kids try to picture how big the Easter Bunny is, and what the North Pole actually looks like. As they get older, they start to question the reality, as their friends start telling them that they are make believe. Katie feels bad lying to her kids and fears that they will be dissapointed in her for tricking them for so long, but Katie decides not to tell them after she talks with her mother, who tells her it is important to do so. By the age of eleven or twelve, most children find out the truth, and most of the fun is lost.

Santa is make believe, and so are other things that we have to use our imagination to believe in. Some things, such as magic, make you think and try to figure out how they did what they did, whether is was disappearing or survive after a sword is put through them. Also, some kids have imaginary friends, or play imaginary games. Mr.McGarrity is an adult, but that doesn't stop him from imagining. When Johnny would talk to him about his family, he would imagine that it was him talking about his family. When you are six years old and you're bored out of your mind, you go ring your neighbor's door bell and play in the backyard or basement, pretending that one is a knight in shining armor and the other is the fire breathing dragon, and you love it and do it the next day. Once you get into the double digits, you think that you are too mature to play those "silly" games and instead you sit in front of the television playing video games for hours and hours.

Me, with sweatpants and a t-shirt on, sitting on my bed, with my dog taking up more than half of the space provided. Without imagination, life would be so dull and boring. It is important that children are taught that imagination is important so that it won't die die out and the world will still have a mysterious and exciting feel to it. With no Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, or Frosty the Snowman, children wouldn't have anything to look forward to or enjoy, except candy and birthdays.

Challenges

“A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” Response

Sub-theme: Challenges

Growing up is a roller coaster, you have your ups and your downs. Sometimes you have to face your challenges, and sometimes someone does that for you. Either way, life is hard to get through, especially being a gullible child that no one listens to, simply because you aren’t a grown up, which makes you immature and foolish. Francie and all of the other characters in “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” have many problems, serious or small, but they all learn to deal with them in their own unique ways.

Francie is growing up in a bad part of Brooklyn, New York. She faces all different types of challenges every single day, whether it has to do with money, or school, or even troubles within her family. Her father, Johnny, has a serious drinking problem. Although Francie loves her father, she knows that he makes bad decisions and has to try to live with that. Katie, Francie’s mother, also has challenges due to her husband’s problem. She is known as the girl that married the drunk, and she has to deal with that also. That shows that not only children have challenges, but grown women and men struggle, too.

Another problem that Francie has is realizing that fantasies are fantasies, they aren’t things that happen in the real world. As Francie grows older, and is getting closer to being a women, she sees things differently. She sees that her mother is trying her hardest, although they have close to nothing. They made up games so it seemed like it was just pretend, and now Francie knows that they aren’t the real deal, they are just games that she thinks are for immature children. Every person goes through this in their lifetime, they become an adult, or at least think they are an adult, and don’t have as much of an imagination.

Everyone has a bump in their road, some bigger than others, but there isn’t anyone that doesn’t have to face a challenge. All of the characters in this book have a major problem or challenge. Francie is very poor and doesn’t have any friends, Neeley is also very poor and has many friends, but he is trying to become a man too quickly and can’t enjoy childhood to the fullest. Johnny is a drunk and can’t keep his job, and Katie is a very pretty girl who is poor and has to work all of the time to support her family. This family has tons of challenges thrown at them, but that doesn’t stop them from loving each other and supporting each other and times of need. That is something that we, as people, need to learn, that you can get through anything, as long as you have people that love and happiness.

Veterans Essay

When is the right time to honor our military heroes? Every second in a minute, every minute in a hour, every hour in a day, and every day in a year. Take a minute and put yourself in their shoes. Imagine how hard it is to leave your family behind and go to a foreign country, and for what? To protect people you don’t even know? It takes a lot of bravery to be in the military, and we, in the United States, need to stop taking these kind, generous people for granted.

Training for the military is very intense, and you have to be strong and determined to get through it. One large training facility is the NTC, otherwise known as the National Training Camp, located in Fort Irwin, California. Soldiers learn how to react to suicide bombings, riots, and cultural clashes within two weeks of training. Soldiers are attacked by “enemies” with gunpowder and challenges from all over the world, and the trainees have to defend themselves and defeat the enemy. Other things they do is going through brutal work outs, and get pushes by even more brutal sergeants.


I personally know someone who was in the military. He is married to one of my moms best friends from high school, Andrea. His name is Kevin. He went to Iraq about four of five years ago, and soon after arriving, he received a letter saying that he wife was pregnant. Luckily he made it home safe and sound, but he did not get to meet his daughter until she was just over a year old. There are many happy stories of soldiers returning home to their families, but there are also tons and tons of sad stories. Some people suffer from the loss of a family member that went to Iraq or any other country besides our own, and lost their life. It’s time to step up and help families in need and notice the people who help support our country.